Endings and Beginnings

I'm sitting on the couch in my parents' living room, thinking to myself "wow, I can't believe I'm here". Not because it was some big surprise or because I thought I would be halfway to Mexico by now, but because so much life has happened in the past few weeks. I saw the end of Women's Choir, the end of my time as a Whitworth senior, the end of my undergraduate career and of student teaching, and the beginning of my Grandma's journey through eternal life. All were beautiful, but none were spared of emotion and difficulty. I don't know how else to put it, but if anything has shown through the clouds of change these paste weeks it has been love. Without a doubt, the love of my family, those around me, and God has been my saving grace. For all of you who have shown me unconditional love in this time and beyond, a thousand words of thanks. I can't express how you've impacted me, all explanations are insufficient. Know that I send it your way tenfold and that I love you all with all my heart.


I don't know what else to say or how to say it, so I'll move on. My mom informed me (shocker) that I haven't filled everyone in on what happened as the school year came to a close. I'll give you a quick synopsis, followed by what's been going on since I've been back (abridged) and what the future holds in store!


It's crazy to think that my time at Whitworth has come to a close... it feels like yesterday when I was moving into Duvall! Some much has changed since then, I don't recognize who I am anymore; I'm not against who I was, but I am thankful to have grown and become the person I am today. The weekend before my graduation, or "springing" as I may refer to it throughout the blog, was our Senior Boat Cruise in Coeur d'Alene, Idaho. It was one of those awkward times when you're stuck on a boat for three hours a bunch of your drunk classmates that you haven't seen for years and have to make small talk with, you know?! No? Okay, maybe not... I had a great (sober) time with some of my close friends and dancing on the top deck in the rain with the four other girls (my friends, of course) who weren't afraid of getting their hair wet. I was really thankful for the event, though, because it allowed me to see people I otherwise might not have before we all left, or "sprang".


This is my friend Natalie, social coordinator for Women's Choir, and I on the boat cruise!

My final week of college was spent partly at Whitworth, where we had mock interviews, portfolio presentations, guest speakers, group photos and awards (my mom, against my wishes, would like me to mention that I was awarded the Vicki Lewis Humanitarian Service Award from the School of Education. So there, I did it). It was a great connector to Whitworth, especially since student teaching had left most of us feeling disconnected from the Whitworth community. On the days that I wasn't at Whitworth, I was at Northwood finishing up my student teaching experience. It was bittersweet... I was ecstatic to have survived with a shred of my dignity and with recommendations that might actually help, not hinder, me in getting a job. At the same time, I didn't want to say goodbye to my students yet. They have made this whole experience worthwhile, and in fact where the point in me going through it.


In my final week, a lot of great things happened. My students presented their "Build-A-Body" projects, which were much more successful than I anticipated (as seen below... this is one of my crazy students and his project; he dwelled on the fact that his project was "feedable") and Dr. Mike of Whitworth's biology faculty came to my Dissection Viewapalooza (a day set aside to viewing seven different preserved animal specimens and sketching their connections to the human body systems discussed in class), bringing with him a Snapping Turtle (also seen below) and some awesome stories. Other memorable moments include my Tasting and Illusions Lab and the going away party my mentor teacher threw for me on my final day. It was so special, and I had no idea! He got a huge sheet cake that read "Thank you Ms. Casebolt, We Love You", there were balloons, he had each class period sign a poster for me, the works :) the students didn't know that it was the day, however, and there was a breadth of reactions; it ranged from the "cool, middle school guy" head nod to a boy vowing he would find me if I didn't come back before the end of the school year and a girl spending 30 minutes in the counseling center crying over my departure. Throughout the day, I smiled and laughed and said my goodbyes to my beloved kiddos. Inside, however, I just wanted to burst into tears. I held it together, though, until I was driving home. I didn't like the feeling necessarily, but I feel blessed that I will have the same sentiments each year for the rest of my career. It's a beautiful thing to love so much it hurts; I'm truly thankful for that ability :)




I want to share with you guys the story of my cap. My mortarboard, as you can see below, is a sketch of the human digestive system (one of the systems I tought to my students) with an apple in the place of the heart (since I have a "heart" for teaching, get it?!). After printing that off, I had all 140 students that I taught sign it :) it was so special to have, it felt as though I had them all with me; this was important to me since it was because of them that I was able to walk with my certification under my belt. It is one of my more prized possesions now, and I'm thankful to have it!



Also, I saw the end of my time in Whitworth Women's Choir those last weeks. I distributed the sweatshirts I fought so hard to get (don't remind me...), pranked my choir director and proclaimed it on YouTube, performed in my last choir concert with my sisters, and orchestrated the end-of-the-year Women's Choir dinner the Monday of finals week. The food was amazing, I improvised gifts and speeches throughout... it was quite the event! It's tradition to talk about what the summer and future has in store for us, so it was great to hear how many different places and things my people will be doing. I miss them all so much, but am so thankful for the opportunity to have made music with them!


This is the Women's Choir officers, the director and our accompanist... love and miss them :)


And finally, graduation! Here are pictures of some of the people I love with all my heart :)





The big moment!


Women's Choir officers!


Steph and I... four years as roommates, crazy!


This is Dr. Mike and I. We both cried as we said our goodbyes to each other... nowhere but Whitworth :)


That weekend was full of birthday celebrations for my dad's birthday, a Commissioning and Communion service for students and their families, baccalaureate, the "springing" itself and packing for home! Many of you know what ensued after I returned home, and I feel so blessed to have been a part of it. Since coming home, I've made it to Spokane twice (once to pick up the remainder of my furniture and again to visit friends and my classroom), have spent time with family, have knocked some things of the to-do list, been helping at Vacation Bible School rehearsals at Chapel Hill with Chels, and am still looking for jobs. I received my certification last week and my diploma today (wahoo!) so it's starting to sink in... just a little though :) this weekend is Richard and my 1-year anniversary of dating (I know, not a big deal to y'all who have been in long term relationships, but it is for me!) so he was able to get time off work and is coming to Gig Harbor for a weekend of fun :D I'm so excited, I'm planning fun little romantic dates and etc! I'll hopefully have pictures of those events soon... it's just good to be able to spend time with the most special man I've ever known, with the biggest heart I've ever encountered :)


I've actually had a hard time talking about Grandma Book, so I'm so thankful for Jenna's letter to her because it echos many of the sentiments I think we all feel. I hope that I'll soon be able to talk about it, but until then I know she knows that I can't wait for the day we all see her again and that she is a survivor, through and through. Love you grandma, more than anything.


With that, I'm off to convert mom's VHS home videos to DVD... love you all, thanks for seeing me through the end of my college time. Time to move on, but I loved what I've moved through :)


Love,
Chels

Cookie Can-Do

To my family, whom I love with my whole heart:

I hope this brought as much of a smile to your face as it did mine :) my mom and I found it in Grandma and Grandpa's basement.

Love,
Chels

End of the World as I Know It

This is going to be a quick one, but just an update:

1. I passed my TPA! So yay, good news.

2. I've gotten everything done that I need to, so I'm coasting 'til the end :)

3. I'm applying for jobs all over the place, so any leads and let me know! I'm focusing on the westside of the state...

4. My final choir concert was on Sunday and it was phenomenal. I felt so loved and so blessed to be part of such and incredible event. Even better, my choir pranked my director with a song I wrote at the dress rehearsal. One of our songs, in Finnish, sounded an awful lot like Star Wars characters so through some finandling of the lyrics I created this: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hH1rxRB6_xM. Enjoy :) I'll have the CD ready when I'm home.

5. I have to grow up in about a week. Trippy.

6. I'll have a better blog when I'm moved back home; sorry, until then I'll be kind of short, sweet and to the point.

Love you all, look forward to the end of this adventure!

Chels

Hasta La Vista, sucky!

News Flash: The TPA is done. I had to teach Friday having had only one hour of sleep while still writing the thing until 30 minutes before it was due during lunch, but I did it. That is all. Love you. I continue to sleep now. Chels

May The Forest Be With You

Why howdy! Casebolt here reporting from the end of Spring Break and, subsequently, her life. Not really, but the rest of April will make or break my certification... it's crazy to think that it'll all be over in a month! Man, I should have prepared better... oh well, future Chelsea will worry about that.

This break was a wonderful time of relaxation and freaking out. About what, you ask?! Oh, just everything. The future (namely a job, a place to live, keeping family in mind in that move, this summer, etc.), the not-so-distant future (everything I need to do in the next month is beyond overwhelming... I really bit off more than I could chew with piloting the TPA... too late to turn back now, but I think it's finally hitting me), and finally the past and present (those really aren't too concerning, but I threw them in for good measure). Needless to say, the end-of-senior-year insanity is in full swing.

Thankfully, I am not the only one experiencing this existential meltdown. My good friend and fellow Northwood student teacher Jori has been feeling the same itch. The only problem is, when we get together, nothing good or rational really happens. So we decided to run away to Canada a few days ago. Did we know where we were going? No. Sleeping? No. Money? No. CANADIAN money? No, eh. Did we do it anyway? Of course. So Friday morning we packed up my car and headed to a little town we'd googled called Nelson, B.C. that apparently had a hostel that could sleep us for $25 each. We had meals at little dives on the side of the road in No Man's Land and stopped at little oddity shops along the way. After finally getting past Border Patrol on the border of a little town called Metaline (wasn't sure he would let us in... he apparently didn't think it was as funny as I did when I responded to his questioning of our possession of mace or other protective devices by showing my fists and saying, "only these, sir") we headed through the bustling metropolis (*cough* sarcasm *cough*) of Southern Canada. Salmo and Ymir were particularly chaotic. We made it to Nelson, rushed about (I guess I should say aboot) to find a way to exchange American currency for Canadian cash (it was a mini adventure, I was parked at a coin meter on the street with no coin. Let the hunt begin!) and then to find a place to sleep. Thankfully the Dancing Bear Inn/Hostel obliged us quite well. After that, we wandered around the town until we found a pub for dinner, headed back to our hostel and spent a few unfruitful hours attempting to work on student teaching stuff. The next day, we went to a little French Canadian bakery for breakfast, wandered along the riverfront and into thrift shops and bookstores, and then hit the road towards Spokane. All in all, it was just the adventurous change I needed :) it felt like Kazakhstan again (slightly... a lot more English in Canada though...).

Here are a few pictures of my adventure:

Absolutely gorgeous day and stunning drive up there, we were squeeling the whole time.

Our Canadian home, Nelson, B.C.

Our sleeping quarters... nothing like communal living while on vacation, loved it :)

Anyway, I'm just hanging around at home today until Richard gets off work and we can have our 10-month anniversary dinner :) I know, it's not much for you guys but it's the longest I've ever lasted! Well, the only I've ever lasted... couldn't be happier, feeling so blessed :) But until we speak again, I want you to know that I love and miss you all like crazy... I can't wait to come home for the summer and spend more time with family. Be well, live peace and see you soon :)

With love,

Chels

Ch-Ch-Ch-Ch-CHAnges

Hello beloved friends and family! Hope you are all healthy and happy. A lot has changed and developed since we last cyber-spoke, so I thought it might be a good idea to fill you in :) but where to start!

Student teaching just keeps getting better and better! My mentor teacher is extremely encouraging and challenging; he and I are able to be so transparent about our life philosophies and how we feel the classroom environment is shifting with my "monopoly of power" (muahaha! Okay, I'm done) so our conversations are always fruitful! I've been able to play with different classroom management techniques and informal assessments which has been nice. Myself and other student teachers feel as though no amount of classes or theory could prepare you for having 30 students staring at you, waiting for guidance. Mr. Gamon calls them "piranha-raptors", but I've learned how to fight them off when they start nibbling at my wrists. Each week has been massively growing and Mr. Gamon is pleased with my growth (as am I). Only have had one death while I'm in charge too! Rest in Peace, Reginald the goldfish... he dedicated his life to science so that students could see the blood stream in his tail under the microscope. But alas, he only made it through 4th period. Brave fish-soul.

So yeah, its been great! The principal has apparently been talking about me to others after I spoke up at the last staff meeting about reflective student voice strategies in the classroom (not by choice... thanks for the shout-out, Mr. Gamon) and Mr. Gamon has asked that I do a formal write-up of one of my lesson plans to be submitted for publication in a educational journal. Don't know if it'll actually happen, but I do as my mentor teacher says! After all, he writes the final recommendation :)

As far as Whitworth goes, I dunno how it goes. I know that I'm writing to several teachers who have been in this exact same position, so I feel supported in saying that most college ties are cut during student teaching. No this doesn't always include friendships, but I have no clue what's going on on campus! However, I do know that the School of Education is frantically preparing for the National Accreditation Board to come and give its seal of approval to our department. Many dinners, Q&A sessions and posters have been made to shed a bright, shiny light on Whitworth's teachers-t0-be and professors. As part of that, students are asked to participate in honest discussions about the program and some students are asked to represent the department. I just so happened to be one of those people. Tonight I will be representing the undergraduate teaching cohort (eep!) at the big dinner hosted by my professors. Should be interesting! But hey, it's a free dinner so I really couldn't say no...

Also at Whitworth comes my life-giving, refreshing Women's Choir. Music truly is my outlet, especially with everything going on right now. Presidential duties have ramped up a bit (good timing on my part), but I'm loving every second and our concert should be incredible this year. One song we're singing, called Mary Speaks, truly touches my heart. It's a song describing a conversation between Mary and Jesus as she holds him after the Crucifixion. She describes the experiences and memories she holds with her son, the Son of God, and how although He died for her she now holds Him in her arms. It turns into a beautiful description of our real relationship with Christ as well as how His death completed His work. If you can find it on YouTube (not pushing it, its just beautiful is all!) the DHS performance is quite good :) anyway, our concert is in May and I'm working to get the end-of-the-year dinner planned and concert underway (both of which are different for the first time in years, so welcome the starting-from-scratch mentality!) as well as getting sweatshirts out to women. Yup. That's about it.

I know many of you must be curious about what happened to my friend Sarah and her family. I was there every day after student teaching for about two weeks and even slept over one night so Salwa, the mom, could go home but those visits have stopped. I can't say too much other than I witnessed something concerning while at the hospital and had no choice but to tell the nurses. They made a CPS referral because of it and the proper authorities are investigating, but needless to say I am no longer welcome within that family. It has been truly painful; I've built strong relationships with them for three years and to completely end that relationship hurts. Especially with Sarah; she doesn't understand what is going on and blames me, regardless of how many times I tell her it is because I love and care for her. So I've been fielding calls from CPS and the hospital, not to mention hearing the anger of the family and avoiding their contact when I was still making visits. The stress truly got to me, but I've learned to leave it at the door when I come to school and make each day "the most important day of my life". Steph has been talking to CPS about related instances but her anonymity wasn't betrayed so she is still able to visit them. She assures me that Sarah is recovering well and last I heard she went home yesterday. Her skin graft was successful and her healing (although not easy) can be done from home. It's strange to think the last three years could have been preparation for me to advocate for these kids' safety. I guess His plan is bigger than I can imagine; I was obviously a witness for a reason, I just have to keep reminding myself sometimes. If you could continue sending prayers her way towards healing, it would mean the world to me. I hope there's a day when we can contact each other and I can hold her and explain to her my heart behind it all. If not, it will suffice to know that I tried to fight for them because I love them. It's not in my hands and it is so much bigger than me. I lay it at His feet; unless called again, my work is done.

In other news, life is a beautiful and growing mystery. Relationships have continued to surprise me. You can imagine that some friendships, as they would have anyway at the end of senior year, have shifted quite a bit. I've learned what selfless friendship looks like and have built some incredible relationships with fellow teachers-in-the-making that I know will be lifelong. My housemates are confused as to their futures which has caused them to take a different path than I have chosen. This is fine, but has shown me what I really had invested in these friendships and whether they were worth maintaining. And of course, Richard has been the most incredible support and friend. He is always looking for ways to help me unwind from a long week and relax, to laugh and play again. I am so grateful for the people in my life :D

Well, next weekend he and I are travelling back to good 'ole Gig Harbor to spend the weekend with my parents. It's my Spring Break (kinda... Whitworth's break and the Mead school district's break are off by two weeks so I still have choir but no student teaching.... awesome) so I'll be hanging out with the parents for a few days until I need to go back to my singing life. Also, it'll be full of certification assignments (good thing my professors don't read this... my TPA hasn't been touched since the first meeting. Good thing it's due the week after break! :/ ) and job searching along with lesson planning and other preparations. Still, sleeping in and wearing my footie pajamas for the majority of the day will do wonders for my soul!

I think I got it all out... I love you all so much and am thinking of you constantly, let me know how best to support you from here and I hope to see you guys soon.

Peace and love,

Chels

P.S. I graduate in less than two months... trippy.

Nada Te Turbe

Hola! Hope all is well, another quick check-in to fill you in on the last week. I survived my first week of student teaching as the lead teacher! YAY! That basically means that, starting this past Monday, I was the primary in charge of planning, teaching, disciplining, and other the other goodies involved with teaching (minus taking attendance... Mr. Gamon helps me out with that one :) ). We still team teach, meaning that he takes parts of the lesson throughout the day, but I'm the primary decision-maker as to where the lessons/unit heads and how instruction is given. My biggest challenge with that this week, as you can imagine, was classroom management. I stumbled a few times and, as much as I would love the escape from it and Mr. Gamon offered it to me, I stayed on the horse and kept trying. By the end of the week, I had a much better grasp of it and my students are beginning to recognize me as an authority in the classroom. It's one of the scariest parts of teaching for me, so to be growing so much and shaping my discipline philosophy helps make me feel like these next seven weeks will fly by and I will be proud of the progression of my students. All is good on that front :)

He wasn't kidding though, he said that I would be exhausted by the end of my first week. And he was absolutely right. Only part of that was due to my classroom. Outside of the classroom, however, has been both heartbreaking and stressful. You all have heard me mention my Sudanese friends the Zakis, yes? Well the 11-year-old Sarah, whom I've grown very close to especially over the summer, has been hospitalized for the past week and will continue to be so possibly for another three weeks. She has severe third-degree burns on her left underarm and back. Not only has it been extremely painful for her (she waited three days before telling even her parents that it had happened) but there is also a lot of confusion and mistrust behind it. CPS and the police have been involved; there aren't many self-inflicted, accidental oil burns that harm a person's armpit and upper back, especially by the way she explains it. We've always had trust issues with her father, but through our investigations we've discovered that he beats the kids. Steph and I feel betrayed and compelled to advocate for these kids, but we also don't want them in the system and it's a hard line to draw as to what is cultural and what is universal. Anyway, the way in which it occurred is an understood lie and we think we have an idea of what happened thanks to the 6-year-old, but CPS has considered it a closed case due to budget cuts and I'm trying to find my role as a support. Needless to say, our relationship with the family will never be the same, especially the father. Her parents see this as more of an inconvenience than anything so I've been going every day to the hospital after school to sit and talk with her. Thankfully, she's had an immense number of visitors so she's been preoccupied. I usually come in the evening after I'm done with school and other meetings and visitors have slowed; makes it easy for me to talk to her, braid lanyards and sing her to sleep when she's ready.

I stayed at the hospital with her last night so her mom could go home and care for her house (also have a good night's sleep in her bed), but it was a rough night; she's been having anxiety attacks and the itching/pain is driving her crazy. So I think I'm going to go take a nap. I would deeply appreciate your prayers and good juju vibes for her; it would mean the world to me. Anyway, didn't mean to be a Debby Downer. Hope you're all well, I love each and every one of you, and (side note) two months from now will be my last day of school. Oh holy crud!

Peace and love,
Chels