Ch-Ch-Ch-Ch-CHAnges

Hello beloved friends and family! Hope you are all healthy and happy. A lot has changed and developed since we last cyber-spoke, so I thought it might be a good idea to fill you in :) but where to start!

Student teaching just keeps getting better and better! My mentor teacher is extremely encouraging and challenging; he and I are able to be so transparent about our life philosophies and how we feel the classroom environment is shifting with my "monopoly of power" (muahaha! Okay, I'm done) so our conversations are always fruitful! I've been able to play with different classroom management techniques and informal assessments which has been nice. Myself and other student teachers feel as though no amount of classes or theory could prepare you for having 30 students staring at you, waiting for guidance. Mr. Gamon calls them "piranha-raptors", but I've learned how to fight them off when they start nibbling at my wrists. Each week has been massively growing and Mr. Gamon is pleased with my growth (as am I). Only have had one death while I'm in charge too! Rest in Peace, Reginald the goldfish... he dedicated his life to science so that students could see the blood stream in his tail under the microscope. But alas, he only made it through 4th period. Brave fish-soul.

So yeah, its been great! The principal has apparently been talking about me to others after I spoke up at the last staff meeting about reflective student voice strategies in the classroom (not by choice... thanks for the shout-out, Mr. Gamon) and Mr. Gamon has asked that I do a formal write-up of one of my lesson plans to be submitted for publication in a educational journal. Don't know if it'll actually happen, but I do as my mentor teacher says! After all, he writes the final recommendation :)

As far as Whitworth goes, I dunno how it goes. I know that I'm writing to several teachers who have been in this exact same position, so I feel supported in saying that most college ties are cut during student teaching. No this doesn't always include friendships, but I have no clue what's going on on campus! However, I do know that the School of Education is frantically preparing for the National Accreditation Board to come and give its seal of approval to our department. Many dinners, Q&A sessions and posters have been made to shed a bright, shiny light on Whitworth's teachers-t0-be and professors. As part of that, students are asked to participate in honest discussions about the program and some students are asked to represent the department. I just so happened to be one of those people. Tonight I will be representing the undergraduate teaching cohort (eep!) at the big dinner hosted by my professors. Should be interesting! But hey, it's a free dinner so I really couldn't say no...

Also at Whitworth comes my life-giving, refreshing Women's Choir. Music truly is my outlet, especially with everything going on right now. Presidential duties have ramped up a bit (good timing on my part), but I'm loving every second and our concert should be incredible this year. One song we're singing, called Mary Speaks, truly touches my heart. It's a song describing a conversation between Mary and Jesus as she holds him after the Crucifixion. She describes the experiences and memories she holds with her son, the Son of God, and how although He died for her she now holds Him in her arms. It turns into a beautiful description of our real relationship with Christ as well as how His death completed His work. If you can find it on YouTube (not pushing it, its just beautiful is all!) the DHS performance is quite good :) anyway, our concert is in May and I'm working to get the end-of-the-year dinner planned and concert underway (both of which are different for the first time in years, so welcome the starting-from-scratch mentality!) as well as getting sweatshirts out to women. Yup. That's about it.

I know many of you must be curious about what happened to my friend Sarah and her family. I was there every day after student teaching for about two weeks and even slept over one night so Salwa, the mom, could go home but those visits have stopped. I can't say too much other than I witnessed something concerning while at the hospital and had no choice but to tell the nurses. They made a CPS referral because of it and the proper authorities are investigating, but needless to say I am no longer welcome within that family. It has been truly painful; I've built strong relationships with them for three years and to completely end that relationship hurts. Especially with Sarah; she doesn't understand what is going on and blames me, regardless of how many times I tell her it is because I love and care for her. So I've been fielding calls from CPS and the hospital, not to mention hearing the anger of the family and avoiding their contact when I was still making visits. The stress truly got to me, but I've learned to leave it at the door when I come to school and make each day "the most important day of my life". Steph has been talking to CPS about related instances but her anonymity wasn't betrayed so she is still able to visit them. She assures me that Sarah is recovering well and last I heard she went home yesterday. Her skin graft was successful and her healing (although not easy) can be done from home. It's strange to think the last three years could have been preparation for me to advocate for these kids' safety. I guess His plan is bigger than I can imagine; I was obviously a witness for a reason, I just have to keep reminding myself sometimes. If you could continue sending prayers her way towards healing, it would mean the world to me. I hope there's a day when we can contact each other and I can hold her and explain to her my heart behind it all. If not, it will suffice to know that I tried to fight for them because I love them. It's not in my hands and it is so much bigger than me. I lay it at His feet; unless called again, my work is done.

In other news, life is a beautiful and growing mystery. Relationships have continued to surprise me. You can imagine that some friendships, as they would have anyway at the end of senior year, have shifted quite a bit. I've learned what selfless friendship looks like and have built some incredible relationships with fellow teachers-in-the-making that I know will be lifelong. My housemates are confused as to their futures which has caused them to take a different path than I have chosen. This is fine, but has shown me what I really had invested in these friendships and whether they were worth maintaining. And of course, Richard has been the most incredible support and friend. He is always looking for ways to help me unwind from a long week and relax, to laugh and play again. I am so grateful for the people in my life :D

Well, next weekend he and I are travelling back to good 'ole Gig Harbor to spend the weekend with my parents. It's my Spring Break (kinda... Whitworth's break and the Mead school district's break are off by two weeks so I still have choir but no student teaching.... awesome) so I'll be hanging out with the parents for a few days until I need to go back to my singing life. Also, it'll be full of certification assignments (good thing my professors don't read this... my TPA hasn't been touched since the first meeting. Good thing it's due the week after break! :/ ) and job searching along with lesson planning and other preparations. Still, sleeping in and wearing my footie pajamas for the majority of the day will do wonders for my soul!

I think I got it all out... I love you all so much and am thinking of you constantly, let me know how best to support you from here and I hope to see you guys soon.

Peace and love,

Chels

P.S. I graduate in less than two months... trippy.

Nada Te Turbe

Hola! Hope all is well, another quick check-in to fill you in on the last week. I survived my first week of student teaching as the lead teacher! YAY! That basically means that, starting this past Monday, I was the primary in charge of planning, teaching, disciplining, and other the other goodies involved with teaching (minus taking attendance... Mr. Gamon helps me out with that one :) ). We still team teach, meaning that he takes parts of the lesson throughout the day, but I'm the primary decision-maker as to where the lessons/unit heads and how instruction is given. My biggest challenge with that this week, as you can imagine, was classroom management. I stumbled a few times and, as much as I would love the escape from it and Mr. Gamon offered it to me, I stayed on the horse and kept trying. By the end of the week, I had a much better grasp of it and my students are beginning to recognize me as an authority in the classroom. It's one of the scariest parts of teaching for me, so to be growing so much and shaping my discipline philosophy helps make me feel like these next seven weeks will fly by and I will be proud of the progression of my students. All is good on that front :)

He wasn't kidding though, he said that I would be exhausted by the end of my first week. And he was absolutely right. Only part of that was due to my classroom. Outside of the classroom, however, has been both heartbreaking and stressful. You all have heard me mention my Sudanese friends the Zakis, yes? Well the 11-year-old Sarah, whom I've grown very close to especially over the summer, has been hospitalized for the past week and will continue to be so possibly for another three weeks. She has severe third-degree burns on her left underarm and back. Not only has it been extremely painful for her (she waited three days before telling even her parents that it had happened) but there is also a lot of confusion and mistrust behind it. CPS and the police have been involved; there aren't many self-inflicted, accidental oil burns that harm a person's armpit and upper back, especially by the way she explains it. We've always had trust issues with her father, but through our investigations we've discovered that he beats the kids. Steph and I feel betrayed and compelled to advocate for these kids, but we also don't want them in the system and it's a hard line to draw as to what is cultural and what is universal. Anyway, the way in which it occurred is an understood lie and we think we have an idea of what happened thanks to the 6-year-old, but CPS has considered it a closed case due to budget cuts and I'm trying to find my role as a support. Needless to say, our relationship with the family will never be the same, especially the father. Her parents see this as more of an inconvenience than anything so I've been going every day to the hospital after school to sit and talk with her. Thankfully, she's had an immense number of visitors so she's been preoccupied. I usually come in the evening after I'm done with school and other meetings and visitors have slowed; makes it easy for me to talk to her, braid lanyards and sing her to sleep when she's ready.

I stayed at the hospital with her last night so her mom could go home and care for her house (also have a good night's sleep in her bed), but it was a rough night; she's been having anxiety attacks and the itching/pain is driving her crazy. So I think I'm going to go take a nap. I would deeply appreciate your prayers and good juju vibes for her; it would mean the world to me. Anyway, didn't mean to be a Debby Downer. Hope you're all well, I love each and every one of you, and (side note) two months from now will be my last day of school. Oh holy crud!

Peace and love,
Chels